The banana suitcase

The inventor who made this invention clearly saw a grandiose problem that needs to be fixed: Bananas can sometimes become bruised if we bring it with us to new places.

No one likes bruises. To solve this problem, the inventor therefore set out to design the innovative banana suitcase. According to his instructions, what the "user" of this brilliant tool must simply do to use the banana suitcase is "open the container and place a banana inside thereof." The user must thereafter "close the container", which ultimately allows him or her "to carry the banana in a safe manner so that it remains fresh and is protected from becoming bruised." Good thing it comes with instructions.

I think I'll leave to the reader to determine the potential flaws with this invention (hint: banana shape/size).

Just Jump (No Rope!)

Kids often enjoy jumping rope. It's a game they can do from they are very young, and many are actually very good at it.

The trouble is, of course, that where kids see fun, parents see danger. And jumping rope is of course a very dangerous thing to do. Kids can fall. That's where this invention comes in. The dangerous thing in jumping rope is of course the rope. By removing the rope from the game, it becomes safe.

But oh, where did this guy pt the fun?

Windy Wheels

I don't think this was ever actually produced, but looking at the designs, it's clear it should've been. The concept is simple enough: We used wind 100s of years ago to sail, now the time has come to the bike.

This invention seems to be made for people who aim to go with the wind. For the rest of us, it is clear that there are many disadvantages with this invention. The most obvious one is that side wind might just cause you to smash into the ground. Another is that if you do catch a strong strong gust of wind, you might just run out of options of how to stop your bike. I suggest you ram something!

I have to say that this one looks like a lot of fun. And potentially a lot of pain.

The travel washing machine

When you are on the road, the last thing you want to do is to stop at a laundry facility and hang out there while your clothes are cleaning. So this invention wizard invented the Travel Washing Machine, a portable, mobile appliance that you actually mount onto the wheel of your vehicle and it washes your clothes as you motor down the road! That's right, this thing actually hangs off the side of one of your wheels and spins your clothes to carefree cleanliness.

This almost sounds like a good idea, but that's only until taking a look at the actual patent. This comes with a number of guidelines that makes it sound more tempting to just stop at the laundry facility:
1) You have to jack up one wheel on your vehicle in order to secure the straps that hold the Travel Washing Machine (TWM) in place.
2) Add your clothes, detergent and water
3) Drive off but go slow because the ideal speed for your TWM to work correctly is only 25 miles per hour
4) After a few miles you need to stop, drain the dirty water and add clean rinse water. Start up again but don't exceed your aforementioned pokey pace.
5) A few miles later, stop and drain the rinse water and then drive off a third time as your clothes get spun dry.
6) Once the clothes are dry you need to jack up your vehicle again (stop first) and take the thing off.

No thanks!